if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
