What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
