i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
