wakey wakey hands off snakey
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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