If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
