Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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