Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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