As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
