got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
