No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She told me I should be a condom model.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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