No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
