I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
