glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
