ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
