I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
