so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
God I need to hump something, right now.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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