I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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