I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
