i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
