This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
