"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
