Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
