I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize