So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize