Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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