What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize