oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
