even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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