hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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