I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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