He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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