What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
