What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
