Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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