I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
