I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
