Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
