I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
