FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
