I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
