i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
