Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
