Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
