nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
