like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
