problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
