We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
