Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
