I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize