Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
