She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
