i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
