Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
