Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
