Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
