Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
