I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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