The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize