what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
cat food counts as protein by the way
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
