I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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