So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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