the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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