so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she woke up with a sticky ear
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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