super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize