Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
