Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
