I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
