she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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