like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
