when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
