he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
