Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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