i just had sex bonerless
the condom got lost in my hair
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize